"Don't lick the dog!" I mean, seriously!? Fuss was petting our Beast and he licked her hand. She giggled and said, "Tickles." No big deal. I turn around for a second and when I turn back to her she has her tongue out leaning closer and closer to Beast. I yelled, "Don't lick the dog!" and she stops and stares at me like "who me?" Hubby was working on putting up a grid for a drop ceiling and he scoffed/chuckled/gasped all at the same time. He said, "I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth."
That got me thinking about all the other things we say to our babies/toddlers that we never thought we'd say. Things like "Don't play in your poop" or "If you put it in the potty, it's gone forever!" The latest one was when Fuss threw her baby doll down the stairs at Daddy: "Don't throw the baby down the stairs! That's not nice!" Yep. Those exact words came out of my mouth. I have to admit, one of the better ones is during tantrums and she bangs her head off something then cries because it hurt: "Hurts, doesn't it? That's why you don't beat your head off things." (I know, I'm mean.)
What are some of the stranger things you have said to your kids? What were the circumstances behind that wonderful phrase?